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4th Step Inventory
Childhood 4th Step Inventory1. What kind of relationship did your mother have with her parents?
2. What kind of relationship did your father have with his parents?
3. Were you wanted at birth?
4. Write out the circumstances of your family at the time of your birth. Things such as:
a. Family size5. In general, describe what you think your family thought of you.
a. Did you feel your parents' attitude toward you was different than other parents toward their children?6. Were you threatened by the Boogey Man or the Devil if you misbehaved?
a. If so, what were your fears in this regard?7. A child is made to feel guilty about his/her normal sexual curiosity. This comes about by his/her being caught and punished for touching himself/herself, or being caught masturbating, or playing "Doctor", or for participating in group masturbation. Many parents tell children that sexual feelings are evil and must be punished. With no sex education, and given this sort of teaching, a child will naturally distort what he/she knows about sex. When a child is exposed to fully developed nude persons (for instance in the bathroom at home, or in public), he/she may begin to feel inadequacy in adult life, even after the person is a thoroughly developed adult.
a. Write down any of the above experiences that you have had or make you feel uneasy.8. Did you have a difficult time pleasing one or both of your parents?
a. Were you constantly directed and redirected by your parents?9. Did your parents submit to your whims and immature demands most of the time?
a. Did you have temper tantrums?10. What kind of marriage do you think your parents had?
a. If they fought, did you resent it?11. If your parents were from different religions, did you feel confused about it?
a. What particular idea of "God" was impressed upon you?12. Were you afraid of storms?
13. List all the feelings of guilt, fear, resentments, you had toward each person in your life as a child (not your feelings now).
14. Did you feel you were "bad"?
a. Did you put yourself into situations that caused others to punish you?15. List the first time that you ever stole anything?
a. Inventory all your childhood thefts.16. How old were you when you first masturbated?
a. Were you ever caught and made to feel guilty?17. If you were named after someone, what was that person like?
18. Did your family move often?
a. If so, did you make friends and then have to break off the relationship so often that you became afraid to become close?19. Do you remember starting school?
a. What were your feelings?20. Did you resent your relatives, friends, or parents? If so, list them. No resentment is too small to mention. The AA Big Book states, "Resentment is the number one offender." (pg 64)
21. What kind of language did your parents use?
a. Were you ashamed of them for this or anything else?22. In every family, a child usually has certain "chores" assigned.
a. What were yours?23. Did your parents seem to like your friends better than they did you?
a. Did your friends seem to like your parents better than they did you?24. Any bad experiences at Sunday school?
a. Or at summer camp?25. Were you an only child?
a. Did you resent this or enjoy it?26. Did your parents want a child of the opposite sex when they had you?
a. Did they name you, or dress you, to match their sex choice?27. Were you treated as a nuisance or a burden?
28. Did you treat possible friends with hostility or obnoxious behavior?
a. Did you force friends to abandon friendly behavior?29. Did you feel your parents attitude toward you was different than other parents toward their children?
Write down any other childhood memories that were painful.
Which of the above questions about childhood was the toughest for you to answer?
Do you know why?
Now go to the Adolescence Inventory.